Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Happy NOvember.

I cannot post a blog without acknowledging how long it's been since I've last posted. Wow, I feel like I should be kneeling in the online confessional..."Bless me internets, for I have sinned. It has been 6 weeks since I've last blogged."  That one was for you Catholics, both practicing and recovering.  Yes, it has been awhile and without going into a long story, I will just say that I haven't been 100% well.  When my gas tank is low, the first thing to go is typically the writing jones, sadly. 

But here I am making the effort because damn it, I have something to say.  I bet you're thinking given the title and very recent events I am going to wax political about the state of our (civil) union.  You are incorrect.  Indeed, I am deeply disappointed in the election results.  This blog is not about that.  NO-vember is not about that.

NO, it's all about me.  Never expect anything else from my blogs and you will not be let down.  Well, geez, it's not YOUR blog, is it? 

Moving an actual point...

Has anyone ever suggested to you that you need to learn to say "no" or to do so more often?  It's not something that has come up for me a lot, given that I have over time learned the value of good old boundaries.  Yet I was recently asked, "what would happen if you said no to everything for a week?"  I responded, "A week?  Not would probably be a week where no one asked me anything.  But what about a MONTH?"

And thus it has been decided (the trash heap has spoken!) that November is the month of NO.  I'm serious.  No excuses or explanations tagged on to the end of it.  It's a blanket policy applying to all aspects of my life.  My intent is for my default answer to be NO all the time.  I do, however, maintain the option to change my mind after careful thought, after I consider said request or action's potential impact on my energy, psyche, health, life.  I need to explore whether it's something I truly want to do and have energy for rather than letting guilt, obligations, or lack of a "reason" rule my decision making.

This should be interesting.  You're wondering how this plays out in the real world. Here are some scenarios I envision:

Message on my voicemail: "Can you give me a call back?"  Me: No.

Friend being supportive: "Have you thought about talking to your doctor?"  Me: No.

Employer:  "Would you like a promotion and raise?"  Me: Fuck yes! (What you think I'm crazy here?)

So please, my friends and prepared.  I am going to make every effort humanly possible to just say no.  It will sound abrupt.  We're so used to "Well, I have to blah blah blah so I don't know, blah blah blah," am I right?  No one ever just says no, there is always a long story, an excuse, an explanation.  Are you ready for this?  I am. 

Happy NO-vember everyone! Feel free to hit me up for anything; I'd love to be tested on this.  I promise a full report at month's end.  At the very least...great fodder for my next blog! 


  1. Remember that five year old that proudly told EVERYONE that she's "5"! I'm sure she said "NO" just as loudly and clearly...perhaps her wisdom could be applicable in other areas of your life :)

    Good for you, Dr. No!

  2. recovering catholic, Ha Ha HA! I've labeled myself as a lapsed catholic, with Independent Baptist tendencies. glad to see you blogging; wish more of my "madtown" friends did!