Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ground Control to Major Tom

Here I am at long last, living on my own for the first time in my life.  I am stuffed into a two room studio (kitchen, bedroom, bathroom) wondering where to put all my clothes and toiletries.  In a effort to make the situation sound super cool, my dear friend Cindy has referred to the new place as a Space Station.  "Pretend you're in outer space," she said.  "It'll be fun!" she claimed.  So here we are, me and the two kitties, exploring the far reaches of the galaxy from Space Station ______________.  There, I officially just started a contest to name my apartment. 

Last night I'm sitting here chatting with a friend, and it goes something like this:

Friend:  How's the view from the space station?
Me:  I don't know about my view, but the neighbors might get a decent shot of mah bewbs.
Friend:  Like giant asteroids hurling through space!!!


Yes, I need to install a mini-blind.  Just one.  No biggie, right?  Well...I hate to admit it, but somehow along the way of my adult development I have become one of those women who feels the need for a man to hang things up for her.  I mean, when I even THINK of  hanging up shelves, a picture, mini-blinds, my head goes all fuzzy.  All pink and fuzzy and blurry. 

I thought about how I might get some help with this, and what does everyone do these days?  Craigslist!!!  Can you imagine...I post an ad on craigslists looking for a man to help me hang things in my apartment.  Some poor little damsel in distress, welcoming strange men into her home.  The very most optimist in you might see the beginnings of a really bad porn film here.  My Mom will see her dear baby girl bloodied and dying from grisly power tool wounds.  I see something in between, and a little bit of both:  super creepy guy comes over to find me and at least two of my girlfriends waiting.  He's thinking porn film, we're poised and ready to stab the bastard over one wrong move. 

Then I think, does it have to be a guy?  I know some serious bad ass women who can rock some power tools.  If any of you are once again seeing the opening of a slightly less cheezy porn film, I understand.  Please don't get too distracted. ANYWAY...hanging things on walls does not equal brain surgery.  Shouldn't I be able to do this myself?  Well of course I CAN.  Everybody knows I'm capable.  It just seems like an enormous effort.  I don't even own any tools.  And no way I am going to go buy those stupid PINK ones just because I'm a girl. 

But I will do it.  I will find a way.  Because even though I enjoy the view of Andromeda from my space station window, I'd like to keep the two giant asteroids (not to mention the MOON) covered up.  Indeed.


  1. Annie can ROCK a chainsaw! I have photos to prove it!!!
    Maybe you can find a nice man on Craig's with a big, handy...drill.

  2. i know a certain someone who would be happy to hang your mini blinds, and for cheap (for just a small ice cream sundae that's in our freezer!!!) The power of the sundae!

    Also, the blind-hanging could be part of soup-delivery as, your chef has flown all the way from Paris to make chicken noodle soup, mais oui!

  3. Wow, I am pretty well covered. Never would have resorted to craigslist...all I had to do was post this blog!
    Cindy, you could help me figure out organizational solutions while Nate hangs stuff!

  4. I cannot think of a space station name but I did come up with some porn names for you:

    1. Boobarella
    2. Miniblinds and Maxiboobs
    3. The Woman Who Needed Something Hung.

    Luv you...

  5. Not only could I hang a shelf, I can BUILD one (please see my pictures on Facebook for referance). It has nothing to do with my pussy licking ways - only that my father, as much as a pain in the a** as he is, made sure his kids could handle a drill. I even did some lovely skillsaw work @ my place of work. I can also drive a stick shift and can teach you how too :) -- I was giggling so hard while I read it that Julia thought I'd deposited quarters into the bed and we were on vibrate - BRILLIANT as always. Spaceship Pussy-ga-lore has launched... wonderful -- Jan

  6. Oh, honey, PUH-LEEZ. This girl can drive a stick shift.

  7. Next, I need a techie to help my blog page look more like me and less like generic blog.

  8. Ah, a techie? Wait... if you need some lovely pics manipulated (and there is a way with blogspot) to add pictures to your blog.... email moi - -- hit me up with color schemes, thoughts, I might be able to make it come true....

  9. Ohhhhhhhhhh HONEY! This girl can not only drive a stick,but ride a stick.Build or hang anything you need or want,Cook you dinner,Share fashion tips, remind you to live,laugh,love, & name your space station shoe"itchuation" Gratification!
    P.S. My power tools are bright yellow De walt! :) xoxo--------- Never under estemate a chick :)

  10. situation gratification aka space station,"shoe-ituation gratification":)
    Sorry my spelling was off.....nite:)

  11. I would love to do this for you, but you would have to foot the bill for air-fare. I know you can do this on your own, so here you go...a little light reading that will boost your confidence and give you the know to install them yourself.